so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
