what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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