She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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