you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
