I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize