you win again, gameday.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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