omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
