yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
