So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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