How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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