..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
