I think my fart just growled at me.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
