I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
