Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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