Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
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I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza