Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?