Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.