Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

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  (505): You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call (720): Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days http://tfl.nu/6f8h
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (590)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.

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  (310): It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples. http://tfl.nu/vzvv
  Replies (14) Good night (2631) Bad night (1004)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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  (617): So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/bxwf
  Replies (13) Good night (2825) Bad night (754)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.

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  (843): Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind. http://tfl.nu/e2m5
  Replies (25) Good night (4806) Bad night (693)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (997) Bad night (3089)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

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  (917): She saved the condom from the first time we did it. http://tfl.nu/b22a
  Replies (89) Good night (1864) Bad night (26350)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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  (918): I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1tot
  Replies (16) Good night (3842) Bad night (1185)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room

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  (203): but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room http://tfl.nu/z6gy
  Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (3245)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me

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  (616): Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me http://tfl.nu/gcet
  Replies (6) Good night (2384) Bad night (656)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment

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  (515): I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment http://tfl.nu/kkgu
  Replies (11) Good night (733) Bad night (3084)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

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  (616): I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza http://tfl.nu/i05b
  Replies (1) Good night (1209) Bad night (390)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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  (443): I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible? http://tfl.nu/lb2v
  Replies (19) Good night (744) Bad night (1174)
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  (424): View more from California

  This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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  (424): This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it http://tfl.nu/0y9z
  Replies (2) Good night (1192) Bad night (469)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia

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  (708): Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia http://tfl.nu/57sg
  Replies (6) Good night (262) Bad night (887)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...

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  (479): I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns... http://tfl.nu/3zef
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (171)

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