You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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