FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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