This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
