I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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