P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
