I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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