I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I love you.
Bad choice
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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