bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i was born a porn star she said
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
