I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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