Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
