I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
