Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Randomize
