Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
