Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
