forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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