Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
