IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
