What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
