what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
