the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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