I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
