is wine microwaveable?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
