Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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