I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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