I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Bring me that man meat
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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