The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize