whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
