There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
