I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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