I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
