Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
