What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
