The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
