how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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