I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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