tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
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The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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