I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize