I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think people are normalizing furries
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
