They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
