i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
