oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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