used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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