"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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