On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
