Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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