Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
